Before Children
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful to have been born in the
USA, the mostpowerful free democracy in the world.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful for Velcro tennis shoes
As well as saving valuable time, now I can hear the sound
of my son taking off his shoes which gives me three extra
seconds to activate the safety locks on the back
seat, windows right before he hurls them out of the car and
into the freeway.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for the recycling program, which will preserve
our natual resources and prevent the overloading of landfills.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful for swim diapers because every time my son
wanders into water in plain disposables, he ends up wearing
a blimp the size of,say, New Jersey, on his bottom.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for fresh, organic vegetables.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful for microwaveable macaroni and cheese--without
which my children would be surviving on about three bites of
cereal and their own spit.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for the opportunity to abtain a college educat-
tion and have a higher quality of life than my ancestors
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful to finish a complete thought without being
interrupted.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for holistic medicine and natural herbs.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful for pediatric cough syrup gurantee to cause
drowsiness in young children.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for all of the teachers who had taught,
Encouraged nurtured me throughout my formative years.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful for all of the people at Weight Watcher who let
strip down to pantyhose and a strategically placed
scarf before getting on the scale each week.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic
foreign countries so I could experience a different way
of life in a new culture.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful to time to make it all the way down
the driveway to get the mail.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful for the butterball turkey hotline.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for the material objects like
custom furniture, a nice car and trendy clothes.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses
my good shoes.
BEFORE CHILDREN:
I was thankful for my wonderful family.
AFTER CHILDREN:
I am thankful for my wonderful family.
Unknown Author
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